Dear Beautiful You,
I took this picture in Paris last year. I re-learned a valuable lesson while on vacation there. I wanted so badly to immerse myself into all things French, I forgot what was best for me.
Let me back up a bit. We were only in Paris for 24 hours, on Valentine's Day and I had our family packed with sites, activities and French cuisine. Oddly, although only one day, it did not feel rushed at all.
We started at the Louvre and worked our way through the streets of the First Arrondissement, to the Eiffel Tower, pastries on the street and bought locks for the bridge after a cruise down the Seine. Perfect right?
Well, it was when we went for dinner that things went south. I ordered duck, because I wanted a traditionally French dish, but when I asked for it medium the waiter strongly recommended it to be rare. It was then a flash of intuition hit me that clearly said, "Don't you dare order it rare!" The young man went on as he saw my face in disagreement and said it was the best way to eat duck. Against my energy, I ordered the duck, rare. I ate the duck, that was almost too tough to cut through and honestly was worried the poor thing could possibly still fly off my plate. He kept coming by saying it is superb and their best dish, so I followed his lead by consuming the entire plate.
The next day we were in the airport and I suddenly felt a pang in my stomach, that quickly turned to sharp pains, so bad I could not walk. I was dizzy and nauseous and had to find the nearest garbage can to emit what was ailing me. What a spectacle I was, almost passing out, sweating and trying to get to the bathroom in beautiful Charles de Gaulle airport. I finally made it to the bathroom and I was thinking I probably was going to die in the stall. My daughter came in to check on me at one point and I told them to fly home without me and not to miss their flights. And I meant it. I was not going anywhere, I was that sick. After about an hour, I felt better and could walk and was able to board the plane with the family. But, I never will eat duck again. I promise you.
Why am I telling you this story?
Because its a parallel to what many of us do every day, especially when we want to heal. We listen to others, instead of ourselves, about what is best for us. No one in the world knows what is best for you, better than you. I get so sad when I read an expert giving advice telling you to never do something or always do this.Using the words never and always are clues that it probably is not great advice, at least for everyone. You see what is good for one person can be the very worst course of action for another. Obviously the rare duck is not bad for all, but it was horrific for me.(even writing about this makes my stomach turn lol) The same with using medication for anxiety, it can be good for some, but not for all. Or energy healing, again good for some, not for all. It is what works with your body, mind and spirit. And your intuition is your gauge for what is your highest and best.
We are all going around in this ride we call life. Your seat is your seat, don’t let someone tell you theirs is better. We absolutely can change seats, but it is for us to do, not for someone else to tell us we have to ride with them.
When you are dealing with anxiety, you believe others know better. Bull! Your anxiety is your gift to allow you to get to know yourself and learn what it is that is best for you. Obviously while you are in the throws of panic, help is great, but true help will guide you from where you are, and not make you feel their way is the only way.
My motto is 'don't eat the duck rare' which I know means: listen to myself. Honestly, you have the answers, others can be there to help you find them, but need not insert their own answers as the rule.
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Lucie Dickenson is a wife and mom to three unique teenagers. She is also a successful, internationally recognized, speaker, writer and anxiety coach, with 25 years experience in training and business. Her passion is helping others to truly understand that their life stories hold the key to healing and connecting with others.
Certified EFT/Tapping Coach
Creator of the 3-Steps to Freedom Method