Dear Beautiful You,
I have a left frozen shoulder. It sucks. I don't know if any of you have ever experienced this, but it is quite painful. Like I see stars and fall down in pain when I reach for something, try to take off my bra, put on my seatbelt or a coat. Forget trying to sleep on your side. I am literally a "stare at the ceiling on my back" gal now because movement in the bed is not my friend. My husband can hear me whimpering in the house whenever I move my shoulder the wrong way and he tries to make me feel better by getting me to laugh and setting me up with hot/cold packs, but really all I want to do is curl up in a ball because the pain is so bad.
So, I know this is a blog about anxiety, but give me a minute, I am getting to that. But first, let me tell you, this is not my first frozen shoulder. Nope. I had been blessed (no sarcasm) with the right one going a few years back. Apparently I have weak shoulders. It took 17 months to heal! See the picture above that shows the stages from 2015, including my first experience with cupping.(so interesting). It was a long, painful recovery. Of course,at first, I did not know it was a frozen shoulder. I went to orthopedists, neurologists, and to physical therapists. All had their own beautiful views on what needed to be done to heal my shoulder. I tried their protocols and some worked for a bit and some did not. What I found was that I could alleviate the pain some with exercise and hot/cold packs, but really the true healing was in time.
If you look up frozen shoulder you will see that there really is not a treatment that will make it go away, it actually stumps the medical community because it is something that happens, and then, after many months, corrects itself. You cannot will it away or exercise it away. What you can do is accept you have a bum wing for the time being and believe in time it will get better.
Now that I am dealing with my second shoulder, I know the flow of how it will heal. It does not make the pain any less, but I am aware of the light that will be coming in a few months.
I do not yell at my shoulder to get better now. I do not cry and wish for a new shoulder. At no time do I wish my life away because I have this injury, I just nurse it best I can and send it love every day, knowing the best thing for it is acceptance and love. And maybe chocolate, but I digress.
The secret here is that I do not fight the injury or its existence. That would would only frustrate me and make it worse.
The very same goes for anxiety. The second someone has symptoms of anxiety they go down the rabbit hole. In this space they try to logically fight their anxiety by doing anything to rid themselves of this terrible affliction. They see it as something to conquer and will not come up for air until they have won. What is even more amazing is the more cerebral you are, the harder you fight, because you feel that you should have the "smarts" to overcome such a monster. Fighting and trying to outsmart it actually fuels the anxiety fire. Put down the boxing gloves and stop the fight. The symptoms will go away when you stop seeing anxiety as a threat and instead as a message.
Anxiety symptoms take time to rescind. Sometimes you have an immediate healing, but more often than not these symptoms wax and wane for months. Be patient. If you have ever had a broken bone (or a frozen shoulder), you did not yell at it to get better or wish it to hurry up. You were patient and adjusted. You knew it would take time. You believed it would heal.
Please do the same with anxiety. Belief. Faith. Results.